Jaune's Pet Tiger, and other one-shots
by blaiseingfire
Summary: Jaune has a pet tiger. His friends are understandably shocked. (other oneshots inside)
1. Pet Tiger

_I originally made this as a short fill for a writing prompt by Romulus Black Talon, but decided to publish as a one shot. Hope you like it.  
_

* * *

RWBYNPR were all excited to visit Jaune's home over break, especially when he said he had a pet tiger. But none of them were expecting this.

"Why are you guys looking at me like that?" Jaune asked as he sat on his bed.

RWBYNPR all stared at him in various degrees of shock and confusion. Blake seemed outright pissed, Yang covered Ruby's eyes, Weiss's eye twitched, Nora smiled as ideas popped in her head, Ren seemed panicked at Nora's thinking, and Pyrrha seemed lost in her own little world.

"I told you guys I had a pet tiger," Jaune said as his pet curled up next to him.

"Jaune, that's a faunus with a collar on her!" Blake cried gesturing to the collar that had ' _Sienna_ ' sewed on it. "This is slavery!"

"It's not if she's doing it willingly," Jaune said as Sienna, who was clad in only a collar, bra, and g-string thong, ignored Blake and just curled up to her master, head resting on his lap and purring as Jaune scratched behind her ears in just the right way..

"How did you get her so loyal?" Weiss asked, earning a glare from Blake.

"Obedience training," Jaune answered nonchalantly.

"You mean domestic abuse," Blake glared and pointed to the red marks on Sienna's butt.

"No, obedience training," Jaune emphasized again. Sienna just purred and moved her head closer to his chest. She loved their obedience training.

Nora cupped her chin and chuckled in thought, which understandably terrified Ren..

"Ok, we'll just leave you to it then!" Ren said as he put Pyrrha in between himself and Nora. "You obviously missed your cat so we'll just wait for you downstairs." Ren dragged Pyrrha, using her as a shield as they all left his room and went back to the 1st floor living room.

As soon as they left, Jaune turned back to Sienna. She was now on all fours, looking at him with narrowed eyes and a toothy grin.

"Now wait a minute," Jaune said as he stood up, "I love this roll play as much as you do, but not while I have friends over, please?" Sienna didn't budge. "I don't care if we're on the 3rd floor, I don't want to risk them hearing us." Sienna started to purr. "... S-Sienna?" She started to crawl towards him. "Sienna, hold it." Her purring turned to growling as her grin became darker and sexier. "Alright, I warned you!"

Jaune went to his draw and opened it, only to find that the whip wasn't there. "What? Where-"

 **WHIP-CRACK**

Jaune slowly turned around to see that Sienna had the obedience whip in her hand. Her eyes seemed to glow with hunger.

He didn't know whether to be scared or aroused, but when the whip wrapped around his neck and he was pulled towards the bed, he decided to be both.

...

"Ok Jaune we-" RWBYNPR opened the door and froze at the site before them.

Sienna was fully clothed and sat cross-legged on the ruined bed. Jaune was on his stomach and passed out. His head was resting on her lap and he had a satisfied grin on his face. He had on only a collar and a g-string thong. He also had red marks all over his butt, scratch marks on his back, and hickeys all over his neck.

"What even..." Yang just stared at the scene before her.

"Jaune has become the pet, and I am now the master," Sienna stated as she petted Jaune's head.

Blake smiled at the karma, Ruby and Pyrrha were spamming the camera button on their scrolls, Ren took a step away from a grinning Nora, and Yang and Weiss's eyes twitched.

* * *

 _Hope you enjoyed. Have a good day._


	2. Negotiations

**A/N** : _So I actually wrote a couple of fills for prompts involving Jaune and Sienna. I guess I'll just publish them all over the next few days, no matter how short they are._

 _Prompt for this one: Headmaster Arc SOMEHOW convinces Sienna Khan to work for him._

* * *

Glynda stood at the open door way. Her jaw on the floor as she was met with an interesting site.

"Glynda!" Jaune shouted as Sienna covered herself with the bed sheets. He'd do the same but he was tied down. "I swear this isn't what it looks like!"

...

When Glynda failed to return, Peter took the task to find her. He was met with an interesting site.

"Peter!" Glynda shouted as she hid her crop behind her back, Jaune covered himself with the bed sheets, and Sienna just mewled as her butt recovered from the spanking of a life time... and she was tied to the bed. "I thought I told you to wait in the lobby with the others!"

...

After a while, Sienna's personal guards went to check on their leader and were met with an interesting site.

Sienna, the blonde professor, and the headmaster all had red faces and were all under the bed sheets, curled up to the professor with the mustache, how laid back with both hands behind his head.

"Damn, he's good," the headmaster muttered and the two women nodded in agreement.

"I guess this concludes negotiations," Sienna said.

* * *

 _Hope you enjoyed it._


	3. Babysitter

_Prompt given for this one: Sienna Khan had to babysit Jaune. It did not end well._

* * *

As Sienna glared angerly, Jaune realized he messed up. He was not as stealthy as he initially thought. But in his defense, he was 17! He did not need a babysitter when he was alone. Sure the house almost burned down last time... BUT IT DIDN'T!

It also didn't help that his babysitter was just drop dead gorgeous. And being the hormonal teenager that he was, he tried to take a peak when she was in the shower. But while less blood was flowing though his head, he forgot that she was a faunus with cute extra ears, and she heard him coming.

So he was now, cowering against the wall, begging for forgiveness. She took a step forward and he flinched, expecting her to hit him. Instead, she gripped his head and brought his lips to hers. He was shocked at first, but soon leaned into the kiss.

Sienna then let go and let Jaune fall on his butt. "Very naughty of you Jaune~", she said. "I think this calls for punishment~" she cooed with a finger to her lip as she dropped her towel, exposing herself.

Jaune had the goofiest smile as he took in Sienna's perfect body. But when he looked down, his smile disappeared and his mouth hung open and his eyes widened in shock.

Jaune wasn't the smartest of men, but he understood basic biology and knew that women should not have **THAT**!

Smiling, Sienna took the opportunity to walk forward and-

...

Despite every programmed instinct telling her to stop, Penny continued to read the story from Ciel's journal all the way to the end. When she was done, she regretted every doing so. She put Ciel's journal back where she found it and purged the past few minutes from her memory and vowed ever to go though Ciel's diary ever again.

Though this meant that she didn't know why she swore never to look in her journal, so she went back in and read a story from there, and then but it back and purged her memory... but then forgot why she was afraid of the journal and looked in it again.

The cycle went on for quiet some time.

* * *

 _Ain't nothing wrong with a little futa XD_

 _#NoRegrets_


	4. Parents

_Prompt for this one: Qrow receives a letter in the mail. It's from a young woman named Khan, claiming to be his daughter after a drunken night with the former leader of the White Fang._

* * *

Qrow, Ruby, and Yang sat on a couch. Opposite of them sat Khan, Blake, and Khan's other parent.

"So, am I the only one that sees how this makes no sense?" Yang said.

"Yang, I thought you'd be happy to find out we have a cousin," Ruby said.

"I am, if I did have one. Sienna is not our cousin."

"Are you just saying that because she's black?"

"No..." Yang then looked at Qrow, then Blake's parent, and then back at Khan before looking back at Ruby, "...well partially. White plus white does not equal black."

"Ruby, you're also missing something important," Blake said as she motioned to her dad and Qrow. "Last I checked, two men can't have a baby together."

"Evidently they can," Sienna said as she tossed a folder on the coffee table.

Ruby, Blake, and Yang opened the folder and started going through the papers. There were multiple official dna test results. They all concluded the same thing: Ghira Belladonna and Qrow Branwen were Sienna Khan's biological parents.

Ruby, Blake, and Yang sat back down, eyes wide and jaws dropped in disbelief.

"But... but... how..." Yang couldn't find words.

"This shouldn't be possible," Blake said.

"How is this possible? Ruby asked."

" _Any hole's the goal!_ " Tai called out from outside through the window.

The room was set in an unconformable silence. Ruby was hit with a wave of regret. She got noisy and went through Qrow's mail and saw he got a letter from a woman. Excited to hear he had a daughter, she was also mad that she never met her and arranged this meeting.

"I'm sorry Qrow, I'll never go through your mail again."

"It's ok kid," Qrow said as he took a sip from his flask.

"Though I hope you all already know that what was said here doesn't leave this room," Ghira said.

"Agreed," all of the daughters said in unison.

However, the doors were thinner than they thought. Outside in the hallway, Ciel Soleil pressed her head against the wall as she wrote down everything she heard. "This will be my most boldest story yet."

* * *

 _This is perhaps the weirdest thing I ever wrote._


	5. What!

_Prompt: Jaune joined the White Fang...by accident._

* * *

Jaune vowed to never touch alcohol ever again.

When his fake transcripts went through, he felt like he was on top of the world, and in his cockyness decided that a few drinks at a bar was a good idea.

He woke up the next day with a pounding head, no memory of the previous day, in a room that wasn't his, and there was a naked black skinned tiger faunus curled up besides him.

"Good morning my beloved~" she purred out. Jaune could only stare at her. "Speechless? Good~" She kissed his cheek. "We have to get ready, the White Fang isn't going to lead itself."

Jaune did a double take. ' _Did-... did she just say the White Fang?!_ '

"After everything you did... everything you showed me... I realized how far we fell from our grace, and I tend to atone for my wrong doings."

' _I did what now?!_ '

"We will reform the White Fang, and together, as human and faunus, we will bring true equality and peace to all of Remnant."

' _... how?! I just want to celebrate getting into Beacon! How did I become a terrorist leader?! What happened last night?!_ '

"Buts that's for later today. For now..." She threw the sheets off of the both of them and got up and straddled him, "... show me more of what you can do, just like last night~"

Jaune's face turned red instantly. ' _Huh... maybe this isn't so bad after all._ '

* * *

 _This is the last of the Sienna prompts I wrote for the writer game thing a week ago. If I make anymore I'll post them here._


	6. Pet Lion

_Prompt for this one: Ruby has a new pet, who isn't exactly happy to be one._

* * *

"And to help show my appreciation for helping me turn the White Fang around, I bring you a gift. Don't worry, he's house trained and super friendly. Enjoy, love Sienna Khan."

Weiss finished reading the letter Ruby got aloud to Yang and Blake. The trio joined Ruby in staring dumbfounded at her gift.

Sienna decided to send them a domesticated lion. A very odd choice.

"I don't even know anymore," Yang said dumbfounded as she looked at the lion.

"Yeah... this has just gotten completely weird," Blake said, a little creeped out.

"Hello?" Pyrrha called from the hall as she opened the door. "Hey guys, did you want to... uh... why is Jaune crawling on the floor? And why is he only in boxers and a ... fluffy fur scarf?"

"Roar," Jaune acted, sounding as bored as one could be.

Pyrrha stared at Jaune for a few moments. "Sienna?" she asked. The rest of them nodded. "Thought so. So, I'm just going to take my team leader back to our dorm now."

Pyrrha walked towards her partner but stopped when Ruby appeared in front of her.

"No!" Ruby shouted as she held her hands up to keep her away from Jaune. "He was gifted to me and he's mine now!"

Pyrrha and Ruby were now locked in a glaring watch. Lighting seemed to dart from one another's eyes.

Jaune tried to sneak away but was dragged back by Ruby and Pyrrha.

'Help me,' he mouthed to WBY. WBY looked at him, then at the angerly glaring redheads, then back at Jaune. They then promptly snuck past everyone and left the dorm, leaving Jaune to his fate.

* * *

 _Hope you enjoyed.  
_


	7. Penguin

_No Sienna in this one, sorry._

* * *

You see, something they were to supposed to learn in Port's class later on was this: every type of Grimm feared one type of animal.

For Deathstalkers, they were scared of penguins.

And Jaune's semblance just happened to be morphing into a penguin.

The second he transformed, the Deathstalker stopped and promptly 'fuck this shit'-ed out of there, with Jaune chased after him, arms stretched out and barking out penguin noises as he charged the monster.

Eventually, the Deathstalker cornered itself on top of a tree like a scared cat, wrapping it's tail around the trunk as it was hissing and snapping it's claws at Jaune, who was still barking penguin noises as he circled the tree.

Eventually the trunk snapped and the Deathstalker fell down in front of Jaune.

Jaune barked a penguin noise and the Deathstalker got up and ran away as fast as it could.

It screeched to a halt when it found itself at the edge of a steep cliff. The Deathstalker considered it's options.

In front of him was a cliff that would kill him if he jumped.

He turned around and saw the demonic bird running towards him as fast as... how ever slowly penguins run.

Shaking in fear, it made a decision. He jumped off.

When Jaune reached the cliff two minutes later, he looked down and started making victory penguin noises.

Jaune then turned back into a human and did a little victory conga dance.

RWBYPR could only stare dumbfounded at the site, while Nora's eyes sparkled with glee as she finally found something worthy of being her war pet.

* * *

 _Prompt that was given : Jaune transforms when saving ruby from the deathstalker_  
 _Comment typed immediately after that : Transform? Into what? A penguin?_

 _It was at that moment that I knew what I had to do._

 _#NoRegrets_


	8. Weiss Had Enough

_Prompt for this one: Weiss loses her patience with Jaune after he annoys her once too many._

* * *

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow!" All eyes were on Weiss and Jaune, as the former dragged the poor boy by the ear through the cafeteria.

She looked so furious that even Goodwitch would have backed away in fear from her.

Jaune continued to grunt in pain as Weiss dragged him to their table, where the rest of their teammates waited, staring at them.

"Weiss?" Pyrrha stood up, looking cross at the heiress. "Weiss what are yo- eep!"

Weiss grabbed and yanked her over by the pony tail.

Gripping both of them by the back of their heads, Weiss slammed Jaune's and Pyrrha's heads together, making their lips connect in a kiss.

The whole cafeteria was silent as Weiss held them there for several seconds.

Weiss then let go and Jaune and Pyrrha collapsed on the floor, unconscious and with blood dripping from their noses.

"If those two dunces still don't get it, I'm going to freeze and bury both of them and leave them there for a millennia!" Weiss shrieked as she stormed off.


	9. Weiss Had Enough 2

_Wrote two things for the Weiss prompt. Here's the second one._

* * *

Weiss panted heavily and panically as she ran down hallway after hallway.

It wasn't suppose to go like this.

After Jaune cornered her and tried to woo her again for the umpteenth, she had had enough.

Her normal icy demeanor was tame compared to how she let him have it this time.

She hurdled out every negative word and insult she knew at the blonde dunce.

She was sure that Winter would stick a bar of soap in her mouth if she heard her talk like that.

After she finished her rant, she slapped him hard across the face for good measure.

As the seconds ticked by, Weiss began to notice some things.

Jaune did not look sad or upset in the slightest as he held his cheek.

Instead he looked at her hungerly.

He had a blush on his face.

There was a tent pitching in his pants.

At that moment, Weiss put 2 and 2 together and bolted the fuck out of there.

She later found refuge in a storage closet and stayed their as she caught her breath.

As she calmed down, thinking she finally lost him, she heard another person breathing in the closet.

She turned on her scroll light, and to her horror it illuminated the face of Jaune Arc.

"Hit me harder, mommy."

Weiss's scream echoed through out all of Vale.

* * *

 _Hope you enjoyed._


	10. Lil Roman's 1st crime

_Prompt for this one: Lil Roman's Very First Crime!_

* * *

Lil Roman was the only customer in the convenience store.

He looked left and then right down the aisle to see if it was clear.

Lil Roman then took the candy bar and stuffed it in his pocket.

He stood still for a few moments and then sighed in relief.

He did! His very first crime!

As he turned to leave he came face to face with the casher, arms crossed and staring down at him.

She did not look amused.

"Young man, are you going to pay for that?"

'Oh no, a witness,' he thought.

Thankfully, Lil Roman remembered what his Pa told him what to do in this situation.

Moving quickly he pulled out a shiv, jumped up and slashed her throat.

Unable to scream and soon would be unable to tell anyone about his crime, the cashier collapsed in a puddle of her tears and blood while Roman walked out of the store and away into the night.


	11. Fire

_Prompt: Beacon was on fire. Apparently this was normal._

 _Someone did this prompt in the writer games before me, so this is an unofficial continuation of there's._

* * *

Glynda sighed in relief as the fire was put out and she could sleep in peace. She just hoped the rest of the week wasn't as chaotic. She had enough of fire and Peter Port to last her a life time.

 **TUESDAY**

"Oh my god, why is everything on fire?!" Jaune yelled.

"Ren did it!" Nora defended herself.

"Don't blame me, and Pyrrha said she checked the grenade rounds and said they were duds!" Ren clarified.

"I'm sorry!" Pyrrha apologized.

Glynda sighed.

 **WEDNESDAY**

"I didn't know drapes were flammable!" Weiss ran around in circles.

"Drapes have always been flammable Weiss!" Yang yelled as she gave chase.

Glynda sighed in frustration.

 **THURSDAY**

"Dr. Polentina," the scientist said, "are you sure this the right way to do this?"

"The instructions say to do it this way Steve... AND I WROTE THEM! So it must be right!" Dr. Polentina boasted.

"Well ok then-"

 _KABOOM_

Glynda sighed in anger.

 **FRIDAY**

"MY BOOKS! NOOOOOOOO!" Blake cried.

"HERETICAL FILTH MUST BE PURGED!" Commissar Ruby Rose stated.

Glynda sighed in a 'are you fucking kidding me!' fashion.

 **SATURDAY**

"A virus has infected my flamethrower bots and they're now on a rampage through Beacon!" Ironwood screamed in a panic.

Glynda sobbed in the corner.

 **SUNDAY**

Glynda looked left, and then right. No fire. Not a single fire this whole day. It was a nondescript winter holiday miracle!

Her happiness was shattered when she entered Ozpin's office, and saw his coffee mug on fire.

"I just poured this in 15 seconds ago. I have no idea how this happened."

Glynda wondered if she should just give up and live in a cave for the rest of her life.


	12. ANGRY MARINES

_Prompt goven for this one: Your favourite RWBY character, your waifu/husbando from any franchise, your least favourite real world location, and an item beginning with 'a', 'e', 'i', 'o' or 'u'._

* * *

RWBY character: Glynda Goodwitch

other franchise Waifu: Arcee (Transformers Prime)

least favorite location: ISIS HQ

Item beginning with 'A': Angry Space Marine Launcher MK IV (look it up, its amazing)

-/-

"FUCK YOU TOWEL HEADS!" The Angry Marine shouted as he beat several ISIS fighters to death with the two bodies of other ISIS fighters, swinging them like nunchucks.

Glynda Goodwitch used her semblance to throw a tank into a building full of ISIS people. She then lifted the tank back up and played a game of Whack-A-Terrorist with the tank. She got a score of 120 in the span of a minute. She then heard a buzzing in the air and aimed her Angry Space Marine Launcher MK IV up into the air at approaching ISIS helicopters and fired.

"I'M A BUTTERFLY AND I'LL FUCK YOUR MOTHER!" The Angry Marines shouted as they flew through the air and with their powerfists, which were shaped like the middle finger, tore the choppers apart before crashing to the ground in fiery explosions.

The Marines were still alive, they were too badass and angry to die.

Arcee, in her motorcycle form, speed towards ISIS technicals and plowed through them like a hot knife through butter. She then transformed and started blasting every ISIS fighter in sight. She then switched her arm into Angry Space Marine Launcher MK IV's and started launching Angry Marines everywhere, sending a rain of pure testosterone hatred rage onto the terrorists.

One Angry Marine stood still as a company of ISIS fighters opened fire on him. When the firing stopped, the Marine looked down at his armor and then snapped back to the terrorists.

"YOU FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS SCRATCHED MY FUCKING PAINTJOB! FUCK!" The angry Marine pulled out 10 revving chainsaw swords, 5 in each hand. He would hold more but he only cared 10, and he was mad that he didn't have more chainsaw swords. He then ran forward and proceed to ( **REDACTED** ) to every single one of them.

 _(TIMESKIP)_

Even though all the ISIS fighters were all dead, the Angry Marine were still angry and decided to punch the dead bodies to try and relieve their never ending rage, and because fuck ISIS.

Glynda Goodwitch and Arcee looked over the battlefield, admiring their handy before turning to look at each other. They both saw a glimmer in each other's eyes.

Glynda then jumped up and wrapped her hands around the larger being's body as their lips connected. Arcee wrapped her arms around Glynda's smaller slender body as the two were lost in their intense makeout session that soon lead to intense kinky robot lesbo sex.

...which made the Angry Marines more angry because they couldn't join in so they just continued to punch the bodies.

 **THE END**

* * *

 _I don't know why I wrote this... but I'm not sorry._

 _Godbless the Warhammer 40k Angry Marines._


	13. New Message from Pyrrha

_Prompt given for this one: The first time could be called an accident, the second time could be called clumsiness... the third time sealed it. Now Weiss was officially terrified of Pyrrha._

* * *

* _Pyrrha sent you an image. "Wish you were her right now~"_ *

*New message from _Pyrrha "Opps, I meant to send that to Jaune!"_ *

*New message from _Pyrrha: I'm sorry!_ *

*New message from _Pyrrha: it wont happen again!*_

Weiss looked at the notifications on her scroll, but refused to open them, especially the picture message.

She knew what it was.

The first time it happened... the first time she opened the image and freaked out, Pyrrha profusely apologized and Weiss saw that it was an honest mistake, since her's and Jaune's scroll numbers were just one number off.

The second time, understandable, and when Pyrrha wasn't looking, Weiss took her scroll and properly put in and labeled her's and Jaune's numbers.

The third time... Weiss now understood that they weren't 'accidents'.

It honestly made her miss Jaune's attempts to woo her.

At least he didn't send her dick pics.


	14. Clever Girl

_Prompt that was giving for this one: Yang's breasts are a topic of conversation in Ozpin's office._

 _Comment that was said immediately afterwards: Don't you mean headmaster Arcs office?_

 _So this is now a Professor Arc oneshot._

* * *

"Yang, come in," Headmaster Jaune Arc said as she walked in. It was easy to notice her nervousness. "Yang, are you ok?"

"Ye-... no," she sighed. "Headmaster, I have a problem and I need help."

"Please just call me Jaune. And despite me being the new headmaster, I'm still your counselor and your well being comes first. So please, tell me whats wrong."

"Ok. Well... earlier… I think I felt a lump on my breast.

"... oh dear," Jaune sighed. That was not good. "Why didn't you go to the infirmary? I'm sure a doctor would know mo-"

"Tsune's the only one there."

"...good point."

"The rest of my team and team RVVN are out and I'm not really friends with anyone else." Yang admitted with a sigh. "I want to get someone else's opinion before I do anything, and… well, you're the only one I can trust right now."

Jaune's cheeks changed by the fainted pink tint as he realized what Yang was inferring to. He thought about it for a few moments. "Ok, I will check it out if you want me to."

"T-thank you Jaune," Yang said as he moved to the seat next to her. She then turned her body to face him and lifted her shirt, revealing herself to him.

With professionalism, Jaune brought his hands up and slowly and gently moved his hands around her breasts, trying to find the cancerous lump. A few moments later, Jaune realized he should have asked an important question.

"Where did you say you felt the lump?"

"... uh….. upper… inner left breast."

Jaune moved his fingers there, and winced slightly when he did in fact feel a bump there. But as his fingers felt over it, something about it felt familiar… he moved his head to get a good look at it.

"Yang, I don't think this is a lump, it looks like a bug bite."

"Wait, what?"

"Yep. This definitely is a mosquito bite." The headmaster pulled away. "Me and my sisters got them all the time back home. We're quite familiar with them."

"Oh… guess I panicked over nothing then huh." Yang chuckled awkwardly as she put her shirt back down. "I uh… guess I'll be going now. Thanks again Jaune." Before he could answer, Yang was already out the door and walking back to her dorm.

As she walked, she had the biggest victory smile plastered on her face.

You see, she knew it was a mosquito bite from the start, she personally killed the little insect. But then when she saw the bite, an idea formed in her head…

Now that Jaune got a good look of and felt her breasts, it was time for phase 2 of "Operation: Have Jaune Arc's babies".

* * *

 _Clevar gal._


	15. Velvet Knew

_I probably should be working on my drunk marriage fics... meh._

 _Prompt given for this one: Coco and Sun. Who knew?_

* * *

Who knew that Sun and Coco would be a romantic pair?

Velvet knew.

Velvet definitely knew.

She was always proud to be a faunus, but for once she found a draw back.

She could hide her head under as many pillows imaginable or go deep into the Emerald Forest, but it wouldn't matter.

She would still hear Sun and Coco getting it on.

And she was too embarrassed to ask them to keep it down.

It was mainly out of fear of seeing them two do it.

She didn't need those images haunting her dreams.

She was glad the festival was soon and then Sun would go back to Mistral.

If she heard Coco say anything else about what Sun could do with his tail, it'll be too soon.


	16. Relic Omake

_So after Coeur's "Relic of the Future" came out, alot of theories came out about future plot points. Though the new chapter diminished most of them, I decided to publish an omake I had on two of those ideas anyway._

 _Ideas: Jaune still somehow becomes a professor and Glynda was a teenaged delinquent._

* * *

Professor Arc walked into the training room to find Glynda Goodwitch firing Roman's cane gun down the firing range.

"Miss Gootwitch?"

"Hmm? Oh, heyya teach!" The delinquent greeted. "Just practicing my shooting here!"

"Isn't that Mr. Torchwick's weapon?"

"Yes, but you were allllllllways on and on about us learning different fighting styles, so Roman was kind enough to lend me his weapon to me for just that."

Jaune didn't believe that, but he was too scared to do anything about it.

And he thought sturn, glaring Professor Goodwitch was scary.

Glynda fired a few more rounds down range. Jaune peaked over to see the target.

"Uh... Miss Goodwitch..."

"Yep?"

"I'm not sure what it was like a your previous schools, but we don't use other students for target practice here."

Down range, Mr. Oobleck was shaking as he huddled against a bullet hole ridden wall.

" _I'm scared,_ " he whimpered.

"You're doing fine Oobi!" Glynda loaded more rounds.

" _Help me..._ "

"Glynda, I think that's enough."

The delinquent turned to him and sized him up for a few moments before nodding and putting the cane down with a smirk. "Alright then, anything for you cutie." Jaune shivered. "I was almost out of rounds anyway. See you next time Oobi!" She twirled the cane in her hand as she strut walked away.

As soon as she was gone, Oobleck ran up and wrapped his arms around Jaune.

"Thank you Professor!" He cried.

Jaune sighed as he patted his back. He was not paid enough for this.

* * *

 _Now maybe should get to work on my drunk marriage fics..._


	17. SCP

_This is basically a '_ _In the Kingdom's Service' omake._

 _Prompt for this one: Vale Secret Service has a secret even its sister Agencies wouldn't know. Secure. Contain. Protect._

* * *

Vanguard sighed as he followed the director through the secret underground facility of the SCP Foundation. They apparently caught another monster and the director was showing him it. Vanguard's fist tightened at the thought of what it could be.

He read the report of its capture, what little of it that wasn't covered in black ink. Magician was part of the team that found and brought it in, and she was now in intensive care recovering from the encounter.

"Here we are," the director said as they approached a one-way window, "our newest addition, SCP-2626, a human by the name of Jaune Arc. The SCP has been given the Keter designation."

Cardin watched him with speculation. He's seen all kinds of deformed and terrifying creatures, but he learned that it was the human looking ones that were the most dangerous and unpredictable. And this one severely hurt Magician.

"So, what can this one do?" Vanguard asked, slightly concerned about what it did to earn its Keter status.

"It's easier to explain after a demonstration," the director said. "Bring in the test subject!"

A side door quickly opened and an agent tossed a D-Class in the SCP's chamber before the door quickly closed. Vanguard cringed at her. She just screamed 'feminazi.' She noticed 2626 and narrowed her eyes. 2626 cautiously backed away from her.

The director closed the blinds on the window. "I say a few minute wait is good enough." Vanguard was curious, but knew to not question the director's decision.

 **3 minutes later**

"I'd say we waited long enough," the director looked away from his watch and opened the blinds. Vanguard was... unexpectedly puzzled.

The D-Class, who had 'death to the patriarchy' and 'men are pigs' tattoos on her arms and looked like he would kill the boy just for being male, was now flaunting over him. Her uniform was ripped, showing off her cleavage as she wrapped her body around him, happily caressing her fingers over his body while she lovingly kissed his neck.

The SCP just stayed motionless, confused as to what was happening and afraid to move.

"...what?" Vanguard was at a loss for words.

"SCP 2626 apparently possesses a passive aura that is irresistible to those of the female sex," the director explained.

"So... he's basically a chick magnet?"

"Essentially so, yes. It affects different women at different rates, we still need to test what attributes to the effects and how rapid they are. All we know is that the SCP's aura affects those in proximity, and distance from the SCP will make the effects go away in time."

"Hmm... wait, so when Magician was sent after him-"

"We didn't know of the SCP's effects at the time. We arrived in time to stop Magician from mounting him. Intensive care had the necessary restraints to keep her down. She'll be fine by tomorrow."

Vanguard was torn. On one hand, he was Glad Magician was safe. On the other, he was filled with envy. "Damn blonde bastard."


	18. Casualty

_I was actually going to have very something similarto this in the latest chapter of A Drunken Arcwitch Marriage, but decided to cut that part out._

 _So consider this a deleted scene to it._

 _Prompt: Team Rwby discover that they unintentionally caused the death of a civilian during the highway chase._

* * *

Glynda sighed as she walked over and stared out of the closest window. She had invited team RWBY to talk about the Paladin engagement they had with Roman Torchwick last night.

She didn't know what she expected. They were young and in their first year in one of the four main huntsmen academies. Cockiness and arrogance were expected, especially since they took out and destroyed a powerful mech prototype. She wasn't upset that they took pride in their accomplishment, but to show a total disregard for their own safety and for the collateral damage that they caused…

She took out her scroll tablet and pulled out an image before turning it around to show it to team RWBY. Their expressions sobered and their cheerful attitude dropped faster than a ton of bricks.

It was an image of an aerial view of a car wreck, zoomed in. Paramedics could be seen wheeling a woman away from the wreck. Blood was visible.

"Do you know who that woman was?" Gynda asked. The girls shook their heads, too horrified to look at Glynda. "Her name was Carolina Teale. She was 42 years old. She lived near the strip district. She was married and was a mother of a son and daughter, twins. She had a brother and a mother and father who loved her. She was also a casualty from last night's events."

The members of team RWBY gasped, some covering their mouths as shock and horror took over their faces.

"She… she's dead?" Ruby managed to whisper out.

"She was a casualty," Glynda said as she put her scroll away.

Tears started to form in Ruby's eyes as Yang tried to rub her back in comfort, but even she was unsettled. They knew what it was like to lose their mother. It wasn't a pleasant experience. Now, two more kids were going to go through that, because of them.

Blake's breath shuttered as her hands shook. She wanted to go after the White Fang to stop them from hurting more people. But by doing so, a mother got caught and killed in the crossfire. Two kids will never see their mother again, because of her.

Seeing friends and family disappear often growing up, Weiss was good at hiding those emotions, but her eyes still shown with despair. To think that she would be in part responsible for kids to feel the loss of family like she did many times through her childhood…

"No one is blaming you for this," Glynda said, "Not even 's family." Team RWBY looked up in confusion at this. "While it was foolish of you to go and tackle a dangerous terrorist group on your own, no one could have predicted that Roman would have fled to the populated streets." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "But take this as a warning the next time you decide to do something like actions will have dire consequences. You four are dismissed."

Team RWBY slowly got up and left her office, their thoughts plagued with grief. As soon as the door was closed, Glynda sighed and took a wine bottle out of her draw and poured herself a glass.

She felt only a little bad about technically lying to them. Mrs. Teale was a casualty in the fight last night, but she wasn't dead. By definition, casualty counted for both killed and wounded. While she suffered from multiple lacerations, none were deep and she was expected to recover in a weeks time.

She purposely neglected to tell them that. The sooner they realize what harm their carelessness could cause, the better and more carefully they'll act and think in the future.


	19. Asteroid

_Went a little Warhammer 40k on this one._

 _Prompt: An asteroid heads for Remnant._

* * *

In the vast darkness of space, a large asteroid flew between the stars at an incredible pace. But it didn't fly without purpose.

Scattered along its surface, a large band of Orks were gathered around their numerous camps.

Long ago, their Warboss had a brilliant idea: Strap a bunch of rockets to an asteroid and use it as a ship to invade a world and crush the 'ummies and collect their skulls on their pointy stickz!

It was fool proof!

Unfortunately they missed the planet and went off into deep space. But years later, they came across another planet, and their moral sored as they final will be able to do a great war.

Unbeknownst to them, it was ancient Remnant.

"listen up ya rotten gits," the warboss shouted to his arranged. "'dat 'der world iz gunna be ours soon! we're gunna konqua it an' take all uv 'da loot an' dacka we kan! an' den we're gonna go ta 'da next world, an' so 'da galaxy why us orks are 'da biggest an' 'da strongest!"

"WAAAGH!" the orks chanted.

"get ready Boyz, ere it komes!" The orks cheered as the planet drew closer. The cheers died down when the planet was to their side. The cheers were dead when the planet was behind them.

"Wot? We missed!"

"um boss, were hed'n for 'da smalla white planet!"

"Wo-"

The asteroid then crashed into Remnant's moon.

The orcs all went flying into space as the rock was destroyed and half Remnant's moon shattered.

* * *

 _Those rascals. What will those green skins do next?_


	20. Nothing wrong with being a

_This is a short one I wrote a while ago_

 _Prompt given for this one: Beacon is an all girls school, and Jaune is forced to cross-dress in order to attend it._

* * *

Currently, 'Joan' and Pyrrha sat awkwardly in their dorm room alone. ' _This is it,_ ' Jaune thought, ' _Pyrrha found out I'm a guy. Now I'm going to be expelled and be labeled as a pervert, and possibly beat up by everyone._ '

"Joan, it's ok," Pyrrha said. "It's my fault really, I should have knocked before entering the bathroom. If anything, I should be the one apologizing."

' _Wait... she's not going to rat me out?_ '

"You're secret is safe with me. I know you're embarrassed but it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's perfectly natural."

' _Wait what?_ ' Jaune raised an eyebrow at her.

"It is. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a futa."

' _What?! She thinks I'm a-... well she is from Mistral and they are known for their weird... eh, it could be worse._ '

After a few more minutes of conversation, the two eft the dorm to head to class.

"Oh uh Joan..." Pyrrha twiddled her thumbs, "by any chance, are you doing anything this weekend?"


	21. Ghost Summer

_This is one I wrote a while ago as an omake for Coeur Al'Aran's 'White Sheep' fic. Only found it while I was looking for something else, so here you go._

 _I forgot what the prompt was, but it involved Summer Rose's ghost._

* * *

"Madam Salem?" Dr Watts saw his boss with saggy eyes and a slouched posture. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes Dr Watts, we have a problem," Salem simply said in an annoyed expression.

"What is it that I can help you with," he asked.

"Booooooo~" A white transparent being said as she floated past them.

"That accursed silver eyed warrior we killed recently has started haunting my palace like an annoying ghost."

"Boooooo~ WooooOOOooooh~" she floated by again, wiggling her fingers.

Salem's eye twitched as she lashed out at her with her tentacles but the phased right through her. Summer smiled and flew through the floor.

"And as you can see, she has become something of a constant pest."

Summer reappeared by a window. A Beowulf walking down the hall took notice. Summer stuck her tongue out and the Grimm lept forward to kill her. Instead, he went right through her and crashed through the window, howling as he fell down to its doom.

"I'll… I'll see what I can do about this," Watts said as he scratched his head.

"Thank you," Salem rubbed her eyes and yawned. "She has been making it difficult to sleep, keeping me up and influencing my dreams with unpleasant thoughts."

(flashback)

 _The ghostly Summer creeped up to a sleeping Salem._

" _Jaune is sterile and won't give you grandbabies," she whispered into her ear._

(present)

"Salem I was wondering i- is that a ghost?!" Cinder walked up and then jumped at seeing Summer.

"Yes, that is the silver eyed warrior we recently slain," Watts explained. "She decided to be childish and try to haunt us."

"Hey," Summer cupped her chin, "if you're suppose to be watching Jaune, and you're here and he's not with you." She grinned and sunk into the floor. "Let the hunt for my feast begin!" She bellowed just before she was gone.

Salem's eyes widened with panic. She didn't know if ghosts could actually eat children, but she wasn't in the mood to find out! Especially with her precious young ones!

"Move! Alert the others! Get the kids!" She shouted. As they all sprang into action to save Salem's children from the kid eating ghost.

Several moments later, after the hallway as cleared, Summer rose back up from the floor, laughing while she did. She couldn't actually eat people, but they didn't need to know that.

Was it it mean? Yes. But they killed her and she was sort of trapped here, so she has a right to torment them.

She chuckled and rubbed her hands together as she sunk back into the floor. She was gonna have fun tormenting them.


	22. Raven's Request

_So there was a bit in White Sheep where Tai mentioned Summer and Raven drunkenly making out. The discussions on the forum lead to this._

* * *

The old Wizard sipped his freshly brewed tea when his tent flaps opened. "Ah, Miss Branwen," he greeted.

"Wizard, you owe me a favor and I'm calling it in, she stated," she stated.

"Always to the point I see. Ok then, what is it I can help you with Raven?"

"Wizard... give me a dick."

"... wait what?"

"I said give me a dick."

"I think old age is affecting my hearing. Can you repeat that?"

"Give. Me. A. Huge. Big. Long. Meaty. Throbbing. Cock."

"... why?"

Raven thought back to earlier. She and the rest of Team STRQ were drinking alcohol together. They consumed several drinks when Summer had the idea to play the childish game of truth or dare. Then Qrow dared Raven to make out with Summer. A Branwen doesn't back down from a challenge. Qrow and Tai drunkenly cheered while Summer was left in a babbling state. Later during the night, Summer drunkenly jokenely challenged that Raven could be a better lover than Tai or Qrow were.

"Lets just say I don't back down from a challenge, and we leave it at that."

"...ok."

The Wizard wiggled his fingers, emitting a glowing aura.

Raven suddenly felt something new down below and lifted her skirt to see the results.

"One dick as requested. Is that all I can help you with?"

"... Wizard, make it bigger."

-/-

"And that's how you were born."


	23. Civil War Omake

_So I wrote this as an omake ending for the forum for 'The Beacon Civil War' a few months back. FOund it when going through some files so I decided to publish it here._

* * *

The Beacon cafeteria was a mess. Battle-worn boys and girls lay scattered around among the ruined tables and chairs.

The loudspeakers came to life and announced that the war is over. The boys have won by controlling the most points. Everyone looked at the map to confirm this.

The girls are in despair at how they could have lost when they had such a huge lead for a majority of the war. The boys are cheering for their hard-fought victory, their cheers for Warchief Jaune were very hard to miss.

Pyrrha and Nora and team RWBY, while bummed at the loss that slipped through their grasp, went up to congratulate Jaune and Ren on their victory in good sportsmanship. Pyrrha and Nora also planned to tell them... certain feelings that they had.

Right as they approach them and were about to speak up, Jaune wrapped Ren in his arms around each other and locked lips with.

A little bit of tongue action was visible.

RWBYNP were shocked at this sudden action. The rest of the guys and girls couldn't care less (despite a few taking a moment to stare).

Ren and Jaune break away and notice RWBYNP's expressions, Jaune awkwardly rubbed the back of his head and went on to explain what was up.

Jaune is actually gay, but due to bullying that forced him to change schools, he decided to hide that part of him.

One tactic he did was during every school year, he would find an attractive girl that he knew wouldn't be attracted to or say yes to him and constantly ask them out. After all, who would assume that a guy seemingly lovesick and constantly asking out a hot girl would be gay?

Jaune then uttered an apology to Weiss for tormenting her with his farse lovesickness for her, he was just really desperate to not be bullied for it again.

Jaune also explains that with everything that has happened during Beacon, mainly during the civil war, he decided to stop caring about hiding it and be himself. HE always had feelings for Ren and he surprisingly shared the same feelings.

Nora's mind was in shock however. She had no idea that Ren was gay, and she knew everything about him after spending so much time with him. But the words got caught in her throat and she remained silent.

Another round of cheers for Jaune came around and this time Ren was the one to pull his lover into his arms.

RWBY are happy and are supportive of Jaune and Ren's new relationship. Weiss is both mad that she was used and happy that the dunce is finally stopping trying to court her.

Nora and Pyrrha... they are totally fine. The dozens of empty ice cream cartons and tissue boxes that litter their room are nothing. Everything is fine.

* * *

 _Press F for Pyrrha and Nora's love lifes._


	24. Autobot and The Arc Omake

_Here we have an omake for my story 'The Autobot and The Arc.'_

 _This one was inspired/partially copied &pasted from a pm conversation I had with _coconutwastaken, so shoutout to him.

* * *

"A-Arcee! What's that!?" Jaune stutters as he points at a certain extension between the legs of the Cybertronian.

Arcee chuckles as she realizes what Jaune is pointing at. "Well Jaune, that's just my Demunitive Injection Computer Kit, or rather, my D.I.C.K."

"D-Demunitive...?" Jaune mutters while he gazes upon the 13 inch monstrosity before him.

"Would you like to see a demonstration?" The alien asks as she approached the young man with a lecherous smile.

"I-I.. uhm" Jaune starts to mumble, licking his dry lips, his eyes still on the now throbbing member of his old motorcycle. His stomach filled with a sense of excitement.

Arcee knew she had him now. You see, she saw his scroll history and knew what he was into, and was interested in trying it out.

"Ssshhhhh" Arcee silences him as she put her hand on his head and pulled him closer. "Just sit back and relax..."

And then they did things that I won't describe because there's kids reading this, so just use your imagination.

(1 month later)

"Salutations!"

As it turned out, humans and transformers can procreate with each other and they had a daughter named Penny.

They weren't sure how they were gonna keep this secret from Jaune's family.

(timeskip)

Penny looked at her 4 new friends.

"Wait, you know Jaune Arc?"

"Um... yeah," Ruby said.

"Sensational! You guys already know my daddy!"

"...Jaune is your... daddy?"

"Yep. Though considering how I was born, he's actually my mommy."

RWBY slowly backed away from the crazy girl.


	25. New Security System

_I don't know why I made this, but here you go._

* * *

"Quiet frankly, I'm concerned about you toning down vault security Ozpin," Ironwood said.

"Not to worry old friend. When my new plan is put into place, no one will be able to even look at the vault once its complete," Ozpin said.

Ironwood raised an eyebrow as Ozpin handed him details of the new security system. Ironwood got a few lines in before his eyes widened and he dropped the papers in horror.

"You- you- YOU'RE WORSE THAN SALEM!"

Ozpin could only chuckle.

/-/-/

Cinder Fall did it! She finally did it! She found the fault where the fall maiden was hidden.

All she had to do was kill her and the power was hers.

She reached the vault and couldn't help but notice how dark it was. But as she walked forward, the lights automatically came on and revealed...

...

...

...

...

Cinder screamed. Her shrieks deafened the heavens as she turned and ran, far away to live the rest of her life in the caves.

What did she see to scare her such?

Well, it involved Ozpin's new secret security measure.

He coated the walls and stasis pod with printed out nudes of Peter Port.

Was it a war crime: ABSOLUTELY! It warranted his execution in every single kingdom.

But it worked.


	26. Damnit Neo

_Prompt for this one: Roman get married by accident, Neo is quite satisfied with the result._

* * *

"This is your fault," Roman glared as Neo fainted shock. "I don't know how and I don't remember anything from last night, but I am certain that you had something to do with it."

Neo gasped with a hand on her chest, seemingly shocked at such an accusation. But Roman new better.

He sighed once more as he looked at the marriage certificate, and at his new name. Roman Arc.

His scroll began to ring. Lo-and-behold, it was his spouse. With a roll of the eye and an adjustment to his hat, he opened the video call.

"Roman," Jaune Arc said once he answered.

"Headmaster," Roman greeted.

' _Daddies!_ ' the voice echoed from Neo's scroll with a smile on her face. Roman turned to her and faced his scroll for Jaune to see.

Hearts irritated from her as she played with little Jaune and Roman dolls. She had them kissing each other before making them to naughty things.

Both men just sighed. They weren't sure why they expected any different.

"Roman, even if there wasn't a professor threateningly holding a riding crop to my neck off screen," Roman heard a 'hey' off screen, "I would like to ask for a divorce."

Neo dropped the dolls in a gasp.

"What a coincidence, I was about to ask you the same thing."

If Neo had her voice, she would have screamed " _Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!_ " to the heavens.

Her plan to get Roman and Jaune to have sex, and peak on and record them having sex, was ruined.


	27. Anniversary of the Fall

_And now for something a little sober and sad._

 _This prompt is basically a one shot of Professor Arc: Student of Vacuo by Katkiller-V, which is a fanfic of Coeur Al'Aran's Professor Arc_

 _Prompt given: It's the anniversary of the fall of Vacuo, and everyone is wondering how Professor Arc is taking it._

* * *

Glynda muttered a curse under her breath as she sped walked to Professor Arc's office. Jaune has been… off for most of the day, he seemingly disappeared after the final afternoon class. No one was able to figure out why until just recently. Today was the three year anniversary of the fall of Vacuo's School For The Gifted Youth.

As soon as they figured it out, Glynda volunteered to find Jaune and see if he was ok. "Professor Arc?" She knocked on his office door. "Jaune, are you in there?" She got no answer. "Jaune?" She tested the doorknob and saw that it was locked.

She held her scroll up to the electric lock and it beeped and unlocked the door. Despite it not being her office, being the Headmistress of Beacon got her special access privileges.

Once inside, she was met with the sight of Jaune laying on his desk. There was an empty wine bottle sideways on the floor and a near-empty glass just out of Jaune's grasp. Concerned, Glynda walked closer to him to see if he was alright. His body slowly stirred as she got closer and he seemed to struggle with raising his head.

He muttered incoherently and turned his head towards Glynda. "Huuuuuh? Oh…. hey Glyn-...da."

"Jaune, are you ok?" Glynda asked softly as she placed a hand on his shoulder, taking notice of his damp cheeks and red eyes.

"Yeaaah," he slurred. "Head hurts a… little, but I'm fine." He stood still for a few moments. "Actually, could yooou help me to the b-bed, pleaaaase?"

"Sure, Jaune." Glynda got her arm under his should, lifted him up, and carried him to his bed.

"Thank… you," Jaune said as he was set down.

"No problem Jau-" something on the floor caught her eye. "You dropped something." She reached down and picked up a rectangular piece of paper. Out of habit she unfolded it and looked at it. It was of four people. She didn't recognize two of them, but one of the people was a younger looking Jaune and the other was the partner he mentioned a lot, Neopolitan.

"What doooo you have the-... gimmie that!" Jaune gasped snatched the photo out of her hands, and, as gently as a drunken man could, showed gentle care with the photo was he wiped something off of it before slowly dragging his fingers over the image.

Glynda felt the need to say something, not being able to stand the silence. "These were your teammates, weren't they?"

"... yeah… myself, Neo, Prim, and Rau," Jaune pointed to each one. "Together, we made team Juniper," his speech was less slurred but he talked slower. "You know…. they were like a second family to meeee."

Jaune then got lost telling some stories to Glynda about them. His drunken state made it a little hard for her to follow, but she was able to get the gist of the stories and encouraged him to carry on.

"- and then she lands on my head," Jaune recalled his time from initiation. "I'm chin deep in water after getting kicked out of a ship, and Neo just slowly descends down and lands on my head without a care in the world." Glynda couldn't help but giggle with him. "She still claims she did nothing wrong and I was at fault for playing in a swamp."

"Well to be fair you were playing in a swamp," Glynda's smile grew as Jaune laughed at that.

"That's exactly what Prim said," Jaune's laughter died down, and so did his smile when he looked at the photo again. "They were the best. We always looked after each other… they always prioritized my safety over there's. I always voiced against it but they listened."

"They cared about you."

"They cared too much… and they died for it." Glynda noticed the water forming in his eyes and gripped his hand. Jaune sniffed before continuing. "I got hurt and pinned and Prim and Tau just threw themselves at the Grimm to keep them off of me while Neo dragged me away. T-that's the last time I ever saw them." Jaune paused to wipe away a tear. "Neo and I got surrounded soon after. My aura was gone and hers was one blow away from breaking. But she had enough for one more use of her semblance."

"Her's was teleportation, correct?" Glynda asked.

"Yeah… not just herself, she could teleport other people short distances."

"I recall you once said how she teleported you to the girls' locker room one time?"

"Yeah," Jaune snorted in a short-lived chuckle, and Glynda winced at her failed attempt to distract him. "We got surrounded and… she grabbed me… the next thing I knew I was in an empty field by myself. Neo couldn't speak, but I swore I heard her screaming."

Jaune couldn't hold it back anymore and let his sobs and tears loose. Glynda pulled him close and tried to comfort him in a hug. "I miss them," Jaune wrapped his arms around her, "I miss them so much."


	28. Pyrrha's A Good Girl

_Prompt: Jaune loves Pyrrha. She is a good girl, yes she is! Now, if only Beacon allowed dogs on Campus._

* * *

"Hey Jaune, do you know when Neo is going to get back?" Nora asked her team leader.

"She should be back shortly, she's doing an errand for me," Jaune responded.

"Is she?" Ren raised an eyebrow. "I didn't take her for one to do favors for others."

"Not unless you bribe her with ice cream… a lot of ice cream," Jaune swore his wallet was still crying. "It'll be worth it though."

"What are you having her do?" Nora asked.

"I should have mentioned this earlier since this might affect you guys as well," this got the duo's attention. "Back home I have a dog. Her name is Pyrrha, she's a Caucasian Ovcharka."

"Wait, aren't those the kind Mistral selectively bred to hunt Grimm? The huge ones?"

"Yep." Just as Jaune said that his scroll vibrated with a message from Neo. "Ah, she'll be back in just a moment."

You see, Jaune loved Pyrrha and she loved him. She would always sneak up and cuddle with him in the middle of the night. When he came to Beacon, Jaune missed the feeling of Pyrrha cuddling beside him and he was heartbroken when his mom told him Pyrrha would lay in his bed, whimpering at night.

Jaune was upset to find out dogs weren't allowed at Beacon, but he soon found a way around it: Neo's semblance of teleportation. She could teleport to his house and bring Pyrrha here and then just bring her back in the morning, and no one would be any the wiser.

Neo then teleported into the dorm, with a fog that would be taller than Neo if it stood up straight. The dog looked around the room, taking in the new surroundings.

"Pyrrha!" The dog's head snapped to the sound of her favorite master, and she yipped with glee and rocketed towards him. Jaune soon found himself pinned on the bed as Pyrrha jumped around, happily barking and licking his face.

Nora chuckled at the two, Ren couldn't help but smile, and Neo recorded the adorable scene on her scroll. None of them had seen Jaune this happy before.

Soon Pyrrha stopped jumping and just laid down on Jaune, front paws wrapped around him and her head just below his. Jaune was not one to say no to her cuddles, so he wrapped his arms around her as well, rubbing his hands along her fur until they both fell asleep.

When morning came, Jaune tried to get up but he was trapped. Pyrrha refused to get up, more contempt to just lay there with her master. Jaune ended up missing his first class, but he didn't mind.

* * *

 _Seriously, look up Caucasian Ovcharka, they're huge doggos._


	29. ADDDDVENNNTURE

High in the sky in a bullhead, Jaune looked down as Oobleck just grinned as he drank the contents of his coffee mug in one gulp.

"So then Jaune, are you ready to go on an... **ADDDDVENNNTURE**?!" Oobleck asked.

"Yeah sure, I guess," Jaune replied.

"SPLENDID!" Oobleck cheered as he drank another mug full of coffee. "Now, we jump!"

"Wait, am I going to get aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jaune screamed as Oobleck shoved him out of the ship.

" **ADDDDVENNNTURE!** " Oobleck shouted as he jumped out after him.

"-AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH- oof." Jaune grunted as he hit the sidewalk hard. oobleck landed gracefully, using his thermos flamethrower as a makeshift jetpack. "owww, oobleck, why did yo- what the hell is that?!" Jaune shouted as he saw that Oobleck was now holding a giant shotgun.

" **ADDDDVENTURE!** " Oobleck ran down the sidewalk as Jaune tried to keep up.

" **ADDDDVENTURE!** " Oobleck shouted as he blew up a wall and shot the first person he saw as he ran inside.

"Oh my god you just killed that guy!" Jaune shouted.

" **ADDDDVENTURE!** " Oobleck shouted as he fired again.

"Was that an old lady?!" Jaune shrieked as he ran over the body.

" **ADDDDVENTURE!** " Oobleck shot again.

"Why are you shooting these people?!" Jaune asked as he caught up to Oobleck at a front desk.

"Put the lien in the bag, or I'll **ADDDDVENTURE** your brain all over that wall." It should be noted that Oobleck did not once lose his cheery demeanor.

Jaune finally got the chance to look around where they were. "Are we robbing a bank?!"

"We're adventuring a bank Jauney boy, keep up with the program," and then Oobleck shot the teller.

Suddenly they heard a police siren and several cops stormed in. "Freeze! You asshole are under arrest!"

"Not today my friends!" Oobleck's thermos ignited and he started flying. " **ADDDDVENNNTURE!** "

All was quiet for a few moments as Jaune realized he was left behind. The cops aimed all their weapons at him.

"Goddamnit," he sighed as he raised his hands.

* * *

 _The prompt for this one was: An Epic Adventure!_

 _I was reminded of a Sanity Not Included skit and based it off of that._

 _I'm not sorry._


	30. Family Counseling

_Prompt for this one: forgot the wording but it had to do with Raven not being a good mom._

 _Once again inspired by Sanity Not Included._

* * *

"Hello and welcome to family counseling," the counselor greeted. "So, what seems to be the problem?"

"My daughter screams and whines like a little bitch when I hit her," Raven said.

"Yes... me whining when my mother hits me is the problem here," Vernal grumbled next to her.

"What! You hit your own daughter?!" The counselor gasped.

"Well she's not biologically mine, but yes, I do," Raven shrugged her shoulders.

"But why do you hit her?"

"Because she deserves it."

"What has she ever done to deserve physical abuse?"

"Ok, so let's say hypothetically I was once... a bird. And then some little BRAT came along and was like 'waa waa waa I'm not strong enough to look after myself waa waa' and screwed it all up!"

"That is not wha-"

"Wait," the counselor interrupted Vernal. "You used to be a bird?"

"I used to be a bird."

"I love birds. Their majestic beauty, how they gracefully fly through the sky, their beautiful songs... tweet tweet... why the hell would you mess that up?!" The counselor now looked angry and Vernal.

"What?! But-"

"I know, right?" Raven said interrupting Vernal.

"You dumb little brat."

"But-"

"This is why I hit her."

"Well hit her again!"

 _ **FALCON PUNCH**_

"Huh, your right, she does scream and whine like a little bitch."


	31. Ghost Ruby

_Prompt given for this one: Ruby is a ghost._

 _I decided to make it a sequel to the Summer Ghost prompt (Chapter 21), which was a White Sheep omake prompt._

* * *

Salem was happy as she walked down the halls of her mansion. The accursed silver eyed ghost had been missing for 4 days now. It looks like Watts had finally found a way to get rid of her. She could finally be in peace without the annoying ghost ruining her day.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Her mood was ruined when Tyrian ran to her in tears and fell to his knees. "H-help me."

Salem sighed. "Tyrian, what-"

"Booooooooooo, I'm a ghost~" Salem sighed as the bain of her existence floated up behind Tyrian.

"OOOOoooooOOOOOooo, I'm also a little ghostie~"

Salem's face paled as another, younger yet similar looking ghost floated up and started floating around Tyrian. "...t-there's two of them now..." One was bad enough and has been hell to deal with. She dreading the addition of a second one.

"Help me," Tyrian whined.

"You will never know peace~" the smaller ghost said. "I will haunt you forever and ever and ever for your crime of killing me~"

"And I will assist for you denying me the right to see my Arc grandbabies grow up~" As soon as those words, the world froze and both Tyrian and Salem's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry…. What did you say?" Salem whispered.

"Twis a sad tale~ I found love in a wonderful man named Jaune Arc~ One day, I decided to confess and let him ravage me~ But before I could, I was tragically slain~" Ruby put the back of her hand on her forehead and started sinking into the ground.

"You monster~" Summer glared to at the man as she phased through the floor after her dead daughter.

Silence filled the hall. Tyrian looked back up at Salem, and then slowly started backing up.

"M-Mistress?"

"Tyrian… did… did you kill a source of grandbabies?"

"M-madam, it was a mistake, I underestimated-"

"TYRIAN!" Salem was mad now. So mad in fact, and Tyrian was so fearful of her, that none of them noticed that two ghostly eyes poked through the floor to watch the effects of their handy work. "DID! YOU! DENY! ME! GRANDBABIES?!"

"I didn't know! I didn't know! AHHHHH!" Tyrian screamed as Salem attacked. They were caught in a cartoony dust cloud as the eldric savagely beat down the scorpion faunus.

The ghosts of Summer and Ruby watched for a bit before sinking to the lower floor and proceed to laugh, Ruby rolling in the air while doing so.

"Oh my god that was hilarious," Ruby said after the few minutes it took for the laughter to die down.

"I'm glad you're enjoying messing with your enemies as much as I am," Summer said, happy to be spending some catch-up quality time with her daughter. "Come on, let's go mess with Hazel next."

"Lead the way."


	32. Hyena Faunus

_And now, the worst thing I've ever written, but i've been awake for 36+ hours and am tired af so i dont care._

 _Prompt for this on: (blank) is a hyena faunus!_

* * *

Its a biological fact that female hyenas have pseudo penises.

Why did nature make them that way?

Who knows.

Maybe god was drunk that day.

But anyway when it was discovered that (blank) was a hyena faunus, and had the pseudo penis, no one really knew what to make of it except 'oh, (blank) is technically a futa, meh'.

Everyone except Jaune.

He was ecstatic at the news.

All one had to do was look at his browser history to see that futanari was a passion for him.

Jaune put several skill points into charisma and worked his magic, capturing (blank)'s heart.

Finally came one particular night (blank) one that was supposed to be a very special, magical night for Jaune and (blank).

Unfortunately, it would be met with slight disappointment and crushed dreams.

You see, while female hyenas had penises, they were pseudo.

They were fake, and thus didn't work.

Total and utter disappointment.

(blank) and Jaune still had regular sex, which was amazing, but it just wasn't the same.

* * *

 _yeah I didn't know how to end so there's that._

 _the thing about female hyenas having fake dicks is true though. look it up_


	33. Pick up Chicks

Here's another short one, definitely not what the prompt maker had in mind.

Prompt given for this one: Jaune borrows Zwei to help pick up chicks.

* * *

"Come on boy, you're the only one who can help me."

Zwei whined again, going prone and covering his nose.

"I know it's dirty and it smells and I can probably do it myself, but you can see better than me and sniff them out. If I jump down there I could step on and kill one of them."

Zwei looked back down the sewer grate, where the sounds of trapped baby chicks echoed from before looking back at the concerned mama hen, pacing in worry and fear for her babies.

"Arf arf!" Zwei barked with determination.

"Atta boy." Jaune then lifted the grate up and picked up Zwei, going prone and lowering the corgi down the hole.

The plan was simple: Zwei would sniff out the chick and pick them up in his mouth, and then Jaune would raise him back up to drop the chick off on the street.

It took over 10 minutes, but they finally got all of the baby chicks out.

The mother hen smothered her rescued chicks and gave Jaune and Zwei a thank you chirp before leading her babies away.

"Good boy Zwei," Jaune patted his head. "Alright, I'll give you a bath and some of that jerky Yang always hogs."

"Arf arf!" Zwei yipped happily.


	34. Come

_Blame patattack750 for putting this idea in my head not even half an hour ago._

* * *

Jaune was probably boned.

There was atleast 100 white fang terrorists surrounding him.

They all had a smile on their faces as they couldn't wait to butcher the human.

However, Jaune had a trump card: his semblance.

All he had to do was say one word and it affected everyone around him.

Jaune sheathed his weapons, sighed and then said one word.

"Come."

Suddenly, every white fang terrorist around him started moaning and squealing in confused ecstasy as they gripped their groins.

But a few were still standing so Jaune had to say "come" again.

And again.

And again.

And a few more times for good measure.

Now, all of the terrorists were knocked out. Their was a ringing in Jaune's ears and the room was filled with the foul, over saturated odor of hormones.

After making sure everyone was unconscious, he pulled out his scroll and dialed his friends.

"The base is clear, you guys can come in."

He realized his mistake when he heard the sounds of RWBYNPR orgasming through his scroll.

* * *

 _I am not apologizing for making this._


	35. Pick up Chicks 2

_Had this idea for a sequel to "Jaune picks up Chicks" pop in my head so I just had to do it._

* * *

Jaune laid on his stomach on his bed. He wanted to move, but he couldn't.

There were 12 pairs of tiny feet hopping around on his back.

The owners of the feet would occasionally let out a little happy chirp. He didn't want to bother them.

Soon after leaving, Jaune and Zwei ran into the mother hen and her babies again.

They ended up following them throughout the city, onto the airship, and back to their dorm.

Jaune had just accidentally adopted a hen and her babies.

Zwei and then hen were in the corner, cuddling with one another as they slept.

Jaune couldn't help but be jealous that the little corgi got the better end of the deal, and at least could sleep peacefully without the kids jumping on him.

He heard the door open and turned his head to see the rest of his team enter.

Pyrrha had a mix of surprise and confusion on her face as she look at Jaune and the chicks.

Ren's eye widened slightly but his stoic face didn't change in any other way.

Nora…

She was already on her knees by his bed, emitting chirping noises.

The baby chicks chirped back and they started conversing.

Jaune couldn't help but smile.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading, have a good day._


	36. Jaunehalla Preacher

_Here's a short one I made for a forum a while ago._

 _It an omake for Beacon Civil War._

 _Prompt: The Cult of Jaunehalla welcomes its first female preacher._

* * *

Jaune snuck onto the roof of the makeshift church… or more accurately, the Beacon auditorium converted to a place of worship in his name.

Jaune was honestly shocked when his worship during the Civil War didn't stop, and in fact grew into an official religion.

He was more surprised when he brought this up to his friends and they all face-palmed to his obliviousness.

But to his credit, the rise of a new religion was not as obvious as they said it was. And if they noticed it, why did none of them bring it up?

Anyway, Jaune decided that if his friends weren't going to tell him about it, then he'd do some investigating on his own.

He was finally making his way through the air vents.

He reached a grate to peek through.

The church was crowded and up on the podium speaking was- was…

Was that Pyrrha?! And was she wearing a revealing priestess outfit?!

" -for Jaune did not care. To Jaune, it did not matter whether Pyrrha was a champion, a prodigy, or the mascot of his favorite breakfast cereal. To Jaune, your past matters not, for the past is just prologue to today. Prologue does not define who you are, by it can set your path for today. To Jaune, everyone is equal, everyone deserves redemption, everyone deserves his love."

"Praise be to Jaune!" the audience chanted in reply.

Jaune's mouth hung wide open. Pyrrha was part of this cult of him?! Since when?!

Jaune's brain just couldn't even, so he just slipped away back to his dorm.

He couldn't look at his partner the same way again.


	37. New Maid

_prompt: Kali infiltrates the Schnee household as a maid, and use her skills to get Willow to divorce Jacque, retakeover the SDC, and use her position to make it a company worthy of her father i.e not dickish to faunus._

* * *

Whitley and Weiss hid in the closet, pillows pressed tight against their ears.

They hated this, but it was the only thing that could drown out the sounds.

It all started when... Kali something, got hired as a new maid.

Within a few days, a certain _discovery_ was made about her... something that made Weiss and Whitley have sleepless nights for weeks.

Weiss and Whitley checked their scrolls.

It's been a few hours, they have to be done now.

They took the pillows down.

"You like having you mustache pulled while bend over the furniture, don't you?!"

Weiss and Whitley got the pillows back covering their ears before they heard their dad's response, but it was obvious what the answer was.

Several long, sleepless nights later, Weiss snuck on a ship heading to Beacon.

Whitley practically clung to her like a koala bear so he could escape too.

So... where was Willow in all of this?

Surrounded by people chanting "Chug! Chug! Chug!" as she downed her umpteenth drink that night, trying to forget she lost her husband to a cat girl with a dick.

* * *

 _How to get someone to not be a dick: give them the D_


	38. Pick up Chicks 3

_Got this in my head so I had to do it._

* * *

Cinder stood victorious. Pyrrha fell to her knees, badly beaten and injured. Just one final blow and she was finished

"Do you believe in destiny?" Pyrrha asked.

"Yes," Cinder replied smugly.

"Well... I don't," Pyrrha said.

Cinder didn't notice the smile that appeared on Pyrrha's face, nor did she notice Pyrrha reaching into a hidden pocket.

By the time Cinder did, Pyrrha had already thrown a handful of birdseeds on her face and hair.

"Feeding time!" Pyrrha yelled before emitting chirping noises.

And then Cinder's face was attacked by a dozen baby chicks.

Because Cinder was half a maiden and thus a powerful warrior, her aura didn't block the attack.

So, Cinder's face met the full force of the sharp pecks of hungry chicks.

And it hurt like hell.

Cinder screamed and shrieked in confusion and pain as she tried to shoo them away.

But no matter what she did, they kept coming back to peck her face.

In the confusion, Cinder accidentally fell off the tower.

Pyrrha and the chicks gathered near the edge and watched Cinder fall and land in a cartoony **_poof_**.

"Awww... your first kill. Mama's so proud of you," Pyrrha cooed as she hugged her babies lovingly.

Though she was confused when on of the baby chick's eyes started glowing with magic fire.

* * *

 _This is the last thing I'll do with the baby chicks in this fic. If there's enough interest, I'll so a full short story about JNPR and the chicks._


	39. star wars shorts

_So there were a bunch of star wars/rwby prompts posted on the forum. The ones I did were really short so I put them all in one. Enjoy._

* * *

Prompt: So does Aura work against blaster bolts?

Test #1,536 of blaster effectiveness against aura:

Result: Inconclusive.

Reasoning: Stormtroopers still can't hit the targets.

Recommendation: Use target who can't use superspeed and turn into rose petals

* * *

Prompt: Raven and Darth Vader... Who knew.

"You will tell me the location of the vaults."

"Never!"

"I wasn't asking. Tell me the locations of the relics, or you will suffer the same fate as your tribe."

"Go to hell you- _choking sounds-_ "

"Your resistance is as admirable as it is juvenile and frustrating."

"- _choking_ _sounds-_ "

"Tell me what I want to know, and I may consider sparing your life"

 _"-tries to speak, but drowned out by chocking sounds-"_

"Hmm?"

"- _choking sounds_ \- H- _choking sounds_ \- h-har-der- _choking sounds_ \- da-ddy"

 _And that's how the affair started._

* * *

Prompt: Jaune finds a Lightsaber

One day, Jaune found a shiny metal object in the woods.

He picked it up and looked it over.

He saw a hole in it and peaked inside... at the same time his finger accidentally hit the _on_ button.

He was later found dead, with a large hole in his head.

* * *

Prompt: Darth Vader, headmaster of Haven Academy.

"Welcome students. Today will be you initiation into Haven academy."

All the new students looked among one another in confidence.

"To pass you must do one simple thing..."

Vader lifted his arms, and the whole forest, dirt, and some boulders levitated in the air behind him.

"Don't get hit. The students closest to you will become your teammates. Now..." he threw his hands forward, "DODGE!"


	40. Public Enemy

_Prompt given for this one: Ruby Rose, public enemy number 1._

* * *

Yang checked her scroll to make sure Blake and Weiss were in position before kicking down the door to their dorm.

"WhoGoesThere?!" a high pitch voice shouted.

"Ruby, this has gone too far. You have to stop!"

"StopWhat?IHaven'tDoneAnythingWrong!" Ruby shouted as she reached into the stuffed sack that was 20 times her height and size. She pulled out a cookie and munched it whole in one bite.

"Ruby, just look at you!" Yang shouted. Ruby's shirt and lips were covered in cookie crumbs. She was blinking and shaking rapidly, a side effect of overloaded sugar rush. "You broke into every home in Vale-"

"WELLMAYBETHEYSHOULDN'THAVELAIDPERFECTLYGOODCOOKIESOUTONPLATESFORTHETAKING!It'sthereFault!"

"I... I'm sorry Ruby, you've gone to far. I'm taking you in."

"BETRAYAL!" Ruby shouted as she grabbed the sack and burst through the window. Despite Blake's ribbon and Weiss's glyphs, Ruby broke through and escaped, laughing as she sped away from Beacon.

Yang gripped the windowsill tightly as she watched her sister escape, no doubt off to plunder all of Vale and then the other kingdoms for their cookies. She had to be stopped.


	41. Classroom Motivation

_This is a Drunken Arcwitch Marriage oneshot._

 _Inspired by this image: imgur com/a/mxzNypk_

* * *

Combat class was one of Jaune's least favorite classes in Beacon.

Don't get him wrong, he was getting stronger everyday and it was showing, but each and every time he fought, he got his ass kicked.

That was kind of a mood killer that took away motivation to pay attention to most of the fights in the class. If it wasn't his friends and teammates fighting, he wasn't interested.

He didn't even notice that Glynda took an a few minutes of absence from the class until someone else pointed it out to him.

She never did that before… weird, but she was back a few minutes later.

As the next match took place, Jaune saw Glynda tap away on her scroll quickly. Moments later he got a picture message… from her.

He looked behind him to make sure no one was looking, and remembered that there was a wall there since he was at the back of the room.

He opened the message.

It was a picture of Glynda looking at the camera, looking displeased. ' _Jaune, I'm disappointed in you._ '

Jaune's eyes widened as he looked up. Glynda matched his gaze only for a moment before she tapped her scroll again.

He got a new picture message.

In this picture, Glynda had her eyes closed as she looked away. ' _Here I thought you would at least pay attention in your wife's own class. But alas, I guess I'm not good enough to get your attention._ '

Ouch. Jaune felt a pang of guilt at that.

He got a new message before he could look back up.

 _'But then again..._ ' Glynda was still turned to the side, but her eye was open looking at the camera, and one hand was cupping her breast.

Wait what? Jaune looked up with wide at Glynda, who only for a quarter of a moment looked at him and flashed a smile as she tapped her scroll again, sending him a new message.

The picture was of her now facing the camera. Her left blouse was pulled down, leaving the only thing covering her left breast was her bra. ' _Maybe you just need the right..._ '

He got a new message.

' _Motivation._ ' She pulled her bra up, revealing her breast for Jaune. Her face was mostly cut off, but Jaune could see her teasing smile and her tongue stuck out a little. Her other hand lifted her skirt up, just enough to force his imagination to complete the image.

Jaune was now sitting cross legged and he failed to hid his blush.

It was nothing he hadn't seen before, but seeing them over scroll messages in a room full of other people made it that much hotter.

He then got a new message, text only.

' _There's more, but only good boys who pay attention in class get rewards._ '

Jaune started paying more attention in her class from now, and he greatly enjoyed his well earned rewards.


	42. Most effective anti-Grimm weapon

_**Spoilers for vol 6 episode 12**_

 _ **Hopefully you know which 2 soldier's I'm talking about.**_

* * *

'Well... shit.'

That's what went through Zoey's mind as she assessed the situation.

A Leviathan was approaching from the sea, unopposed as the Cordovin's giant mech was elsewhere.

Her amber eyes turned inland as a horde of Manticores and Sphinxs flew in from the mountains.

Their odds did not look good.

She turned to her comrade and friend who was looking at the carnage to come next to her.

"Hey... John..."

"Yeah Zoey?" He said with a shaking voice.

"You... you don't wanna die a virgin, do you?"

John raised an eyebrow but then heard the roars from the hundreds of Grimm.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to think dying a virgin will suck."

John and Zoey looked into eachothers eyes for a moment before before wrapping their arms around one another, locking lips and falling to the floor as they tore each other's clothes off, initiating the sexy times.

Soldiers nearby saw what Zoey and John were doing and thought they had the right idea and decided to do what they were doing.

Soon the whole base was having one large orgy.

The effect spread to the civilian areas and soon the entire town was having one huge orgy.

The Grimm, attracted to negative emotions, soon felt the sudden shift to happiness, bliss and ecstasy, and went 'wtf eww' and turned around and left.

Even Grimm miles away felt it and moved away from the city.

On that day, Atlas declared Zoey and John national heroes for dicovering and inventing the most effective weapon to fight the Grimm: Combat Orgies.


End file.
